I know you’ve all been sitting on the edge of your seats for my new “What Blacks don’t do” post. It’s been a long time in coming and I’m sorry that it took so long! But i wanted to address a major problem that I see when it comes to AA’s. Actually Its not really a problem just an observation. We’ve always been creative when it comes to names. My own name is a little different so I’m used to it being mispronounced. But it appears that a name that I though was a little ghetto when i was growing up is nothing compared to the names that  are showing up recently. Let me give you a few examples:

Example # 1: We like names that are adjectives! Precious, Star, Unique, Prince and Pincess are all adjectives (sometimes nouns). I’ve known about 3 “Precious’s” in my lifetime and not a single one of them lived up to that name. So it appears that the only person that they are precious to is the parent that gave them that ridiculous name.  I think that when you give children these kinds of names it gives them an overinflated ego. The “Prince” that I knew would strut the school halls like he was an actual prince and no one could tell him anything different. I thought it looked like a train ran over his face (sorry for the graphic details) but he still thought he was the hottest thing around. So parents maybe we should rethink these types of names.

Example # 2: We like names of cars! Usually high end cars at that. A few examples being Porshe , Mercedes, Lexus and Infiniti. But the names don’t stop there, I met a “Toyota” some years ago. I know “Toyota” sounds ridiculous but I indeed met young “Toyota” 2 years ago. She was about 10 at the time, a very charming young girl with a nice smile. Unlike the people who name their children after high end cars I guess her parents were content naming their child after an affordable economy car. Some people just don’t dream big.

Example # 3: We like names that end in “esha” or “iqua” (usually girls names) this also includes “ecia” as well since my name ends in “ecia” but its sounds like “esha” so I’m part of this group myself.  A few examples: Chamiqua (pronounced Sha-mi-qua) and Kwantiniqua (pronounced quan-ten-knee-ka) as well as Lanesha and Monesha. These names aren’t that bad but I know some who have gotten really creative with them. You can even use the names from example #1 and mix them together with example #3 and you get “Uniqua”. Genius

Example # 4: We like names of places! For example Paris, Africa, Asia, Tanzania, China and Orlando

Example # 5: We like names that end in “shawn” (usually boys name)! For example Keyshawn and Dayshwan

Example # 6: We Like names that end in “Nell”! For example  Donnell, Jarnell and Rahnell

Example # 7: We like names with accents! For example La’roi, La’velle, La’Shontay, and Nida’ja,

Example # 8: We like names that don’t make any sense whatsoever! for example Female’ (pronounced Fe-mal-ee) Xaleena, Wajidaa, Tomoyo, Starsheema, Sasskayo, Nysietta, Mellinium, Marche (pronounced Mar-cee), Latakeya, Heavenlee, Chamiqua, Chavatal, Uneeqqi, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn, Q’J'Q’Sha, Day’Shawndra and last but not least Clitora Jackson. Yes her mother named her Clitora like it was a cute girls name. Oh and I forgot about the mother who named her 13 year old daughter using Incan hieroglyphics. That poor girls name can’t even be pronounced…….

Enough with the foolishness! This doesn’t mean that now you have to start naming your children Mary,  Anna or Becky but at least choose names that won’t be an embarrassment for the child in the future or on a job interview for that matter. I’ve decided that my children will be named Keanue Julius (insert future husbands last name here) and Summer Janea (insert blah blah blah). These names are unique but they are also classy so my children won’t be made fun of when they go to school. Which I think is the ultimate goal of any parent! So parents do right by your children because when they grow up they will be taking care of you. And I know you dont want little Jaquashatique throwing you in a nursing home because of the terrrible name you gave her. …………..Keep it Moving*

Fun Tip : For fun copy and past this post into a Word Doc hit spell check and see how many red lines appear from all these ridicuoues names….

*Footnote: All the names above are actual names of children born in the United States of America. Except for Jaquashatique i made that one up.

Ref:

http://www.eviplist.com/News-Culture/CLITORIA_JACKSON_-_Federal_Judge_Enough_With_the_Stupid_Names/

http://www.1ancientwon.com/ghettobabynames.html