For a person who hates job hunting as much as I do you’d think that I’d try very hard to keep my jobs longer! Sadly I don’t.

I got a new job a few weeks ago at a tutoring company! I was truly showing my Gen Y genes because I was ready to quit after only being there for a few days. I felt terribly mistreated and over-worked but I decided to bear with it. Sadly my tolerance for foolishness is very short and I was only able to put up with it for 2 more weeks. I then promptly put in my resignation and split, despite the fact that jobs are scarce at the moment in our country! I really did try to stick it out but I can’t be productive in a negative environment so I saved them from having to fire me later for being unproductive (makes perfect sense to me). Now I was yet again unemployed! So it was back to the job market for me, and after a few days I was able to get an interview at a major call center in Orlando. Here’s where the problem comes in. The whole process unnerves me terribly. From the Interview to Orientation I can’t stand it. Let me describe the process to you so you’ll understand what I go through.

I HATE INTERVIEWING!

I‘ll usually get lost on the way to the office building for the interview, despite map-questing the location! I’m usually so nervous that I always miss my turn and have to make numerous U-turns to get back on the right course. Thankfully I leave super early because I anticipate this happening so I always arrive right on time, even though I was lost for about 20 minuets or so. When I finally get there I’m usually asked to wait in the waiting room until the interviewer is ready to see me. They always have a few magazines on the table for you to browse while you’re waiting. I know that this is a trick! I have no interest in the “Business Week” on the table but I know that If I pick up the “Cosmopolitan” and my interviewer comes out while I’m reading it, it may say a few things about where my mind is, and if I’m a serious person. So I always pick up the “Business week” and pretend to browse through it. I aimlessly flip through stories about mergers and takeovers. But what I really want to do is read that Cosmo article on the “Latest Fall trends” or “How to kiss your guy 20 Different ways” that’s need to know information, but I stay the course and keep flipping through the “Business Week” (yawn). I’m finally called into the interviewer’s office and from there it’s all a blur. I never remember what I said or what happened on the interview. The only thing I ever remember is me standing up and shaking their hand and leaving .I’ve been told that I’m a very good interviewee but I’d never know it because I can never remember what happened. I must have done pretty well because I was hired that day. All I needed to do was take a drug test before I could start working.

I HATE DRUG TESTS!

I went to the clinic to take my drug test for the job. I always feel so uncomfortable when it comes to taking these tests, I know I’m not a crack head but I guess I need to prove that to them. I fill out my paper work and the lady hands me a cup and shows me where to go. Again my nerves get the better of me and I can’t “perform”. I’m mortified, I drank a lot of water in anticipation for this thing so I know the goods are there but my body just won’t cooperate with me. I guess I was taking too long because the woman knocks on the door and ask me if I’m “ok”. I tell her to give me a few more minuets because now I’m starting to panic. I started to think that maybe I WAS a crack head since I couldn’t “perform”, maybe I had something to hide? The lady then tells me that I’m taking too long and that I need to come out. Embarrassed, I come out and whisper to her that I can’t “perform” she then loudly tells me that I have a “Shy Bladder” and that I need to go to the water fountain and drink water until the “Flood gates open”. The guy filling out his paperwork, the receptionist, they guys waiting in line to be called all look up at me like I’m a freak. Was it really necessary for her to announce that to the whole waiting room? I run off to the water fountain and drink until I’m about to burst. I’m finally able to get the job done and run out of there like there’s no tomorrow.

So now do you see why I hate this whole process? It never goes well for me

I HATE INTERVIEWING
I HATE BUSINESS WEEK
I HATE DRUG TESTS
I HATE PEEING IN A CUP
I HATE MY SHY BLADDER

BUT I LOVE GETTING PAID, which is why I continue to do it. So the reason that I go on interviews is because it allows me to……..Keep it Moving